Timshel

There is this one song I always loved by Mumford and Sons called “Timshel.” I never knew why it was called “Timshel” until recently. One line reads “And you have your choices/ And these are what make man great/ His ladder to the stars.” I always thought that those lyrics were rather profound. All we really have as human beings is our choices. Love would not exist without our power of choice. If Adam and Eve did not have the choice to eat the fruit of the Tree of Life then we would all just be God’s robots and any love we had for him would not be real. We wouldn't be able to be separated from God even if we wanted to. So we are left with our choices; To follow God or not to follow God; To love or not to love; To be at that party and not sleep with that girl even though you could have.

I was down at Liberty University in Virginia attending College for a Weekend, which is for highschoolers who are looking for a college and want to try Liberty out. I found myself in bookstore browsing around while my friends were looking at T-shirts and Flat- Brims in the other section of the store. I saw this book “East of Eden” by John Steinbeck and decided to try it out.

I started reading it once I got home. It seemed to progress rather slowly, but I liked the language and the stories so I kept reading. Halfway through I lent it out to one of my friends, but got it back and picked it up again. There is one part when they discuss chapter 4 of Genesis. This is the chapter that tells the story of Cain and Abel. Roughly the book discusses three different translations of chapter 4 verse 7 of Genesis. Now bear with me here, because I’m going to go into scripture but I believe there is something real important in this.

After God asks Cain why he is angry about is sacrifice not being looked on with favor, God declares with this verse. The King James Version says, “If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.” Pay attention to the “thou shalt rule.” This is a promise to Cain that he will conquer sin.

The American Standard Version says, “If thou doest well, shall it not be lifted up? and if thou doest not well, sin coucheth at the door: and unto thee shall be its desire, but do thou rule over it.”  Now pay attention to the “do thou.” This is very different. It is not a promise, but an order.

Now to the original Hebrew. The Hebrew word for that part of the verse is Timshel. The true translation, or what most likely the author meant, was “thou mayest.” “Thou mayest rule over sin.” This “thou mayest” gives man a choice. Thou mayest conquer sin or thou mayest not. You may or may not conquer sin.

So God gives us this choice. Francis Chan once said, “Its crazy, if you think about it. The God of the universe - the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor - loves us with a radical, unconditional, self sacrificing love.” This God who loves us, loves us enough to give us a choice; to enter into a life of joy, real deep down joy, or not to. Not happiness but joy. I've been lost so many times in my life, but God is always there and ready for me when I’m ready for him. God is just waiting for you to choose him.

Fear

Fear limits us. Let's face it. It's a significant restraint. I'm one of the worst people at doing things that make me afraid. I love my comfort. I love taking the back seat. Things very easily make me uncomfortable.

        My one friend seems to be the opposite and jumps at a chance to do anything for a dollar or a laugh. I guess its one thing that makes it good for me to be around him. One time I was at a coffee shop with him and my dad said he would give him twenty dollars to talk to any girl in the coffee shop for five minutes. Well he first offered the bet to me, but when I refused he asked my friend. Five minutes is a long time! But he gave a quick glance over both shoulders and said, "OK." There were two girls sitting at a table in the corner, and he held a conversation for five minutes. It was pretty funny, but mostly just made me squirm in my seat.
        If fear is a problem in your life, I would consider facing it. The important thing is not to be afraid of failing. Failing most of the time does not cost anything significant. If you have a fear of girls, ask the next girl you see on the street to marry you. If your afraid of being in front of people, get up there and sing a solo. Life is better spent that way. Everyone loves and respects people who try. Find out that you are allowed to fail. Then you will be able to live life with less limiting you.

Go

Let me share a part of a book with you that I recently read in a book called "Radical" written by David Platt.

               "I remember when I was first preparing to go to Sudan, a nation impoverished by years of civil war. The trip was going to cost me around three thousand dollars. It wasn't easy to travel into Sedan since they were still at war, and we would have to charter a plane and spend a few extra days to make that happen. I remember one dear lady in the church coming up to me and asking, 'Why don't you just send the three thousand dollars to the people in Sudan? Wouldn't that be a better use of money than you spending a week and a half with them? Think of how far that money will go.'

                I wrestled with that question. Was I wasting these funds in order to go when I could simply give the money instead? Should I even be going? I continued wrestling with that question until I got to Sudan. There I had a conversation with Andrew that shed some light on the question.

                 Andrew was sharing with me about his life in Sudan over the last twenty years. He had known war since he was born, and he described facets of the suffering and persecution his people had been through.  He described various groups, most of them government or secular organizations, who had brought supplies to them during that time, and he expressed thanks for the generosity of so many people.

                 But then he looked at me and asked, 'Even in light of all these things that people have given to us, do you want to know how you can tell who a true brother is?'

                I leaned forward and asked, 'How?'

                He responded, 'A true brother comes to be with you in your time of need.' Then he looked me in the eye and said, 'David, you are a true brother. Thank you for coming to be with us.'"

                This story hit all the right notes for me. Human beings were not created to sit, make money, and give tax deductible donations to specific causes. It's a great notion, but not for me. I am obsessed with the real, the raw, the dangerous. I am a firm believer that the deepest need in human beings isn't tangible but spiritual. Above all I want to understand. To share others grief. To learn true struggle. To find true joy. My life has to mean something when I die. When I'm in heaven a jacket I gave won't mean as much as a life I touched. To "go and make disciples of all nations" is a command, not an option to be debated upon. When I go and serve, it changes my heart, my priorities, and accesses my soul. That is something that's laid up as treasure in heaven. 

                 Commit a goal to support an international injustice. Whether that means to go, to donate, to encourage, or to raise awareness, it's something God meant for you to do. If done with a glad heart, it will be rewarded. I promise. God promises.

Winter

I stop and stare
Breathe in the sharp glass air
Pale face, warm lips
The wind hits

Trees bending with weight
Cracking and popping in hate
Pins in my toes and fingers
The mist of my exhale lingers

It's Not For Nothing

I once knew a guy. He was just a friend's friend. But he had an incredible story. I met him only twice, but he was the friendliest guy you would ever meet. I shook hands with him, and you could see his smile as he said "whats up mah brother" and cracked a smart remark to ease the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time. He had an effect that made you feel like you knew him for a long time. Once he left, naturally curious, I asked my friend about him. "He lived on the streets for a very long time, homeless. He has some kind of past, I'm not sure. Might of had an abusive father. He somehow got on his feet, and started a flagging business, of all things."
"Whats that?" I asked.
"Its people that signal for construction on highways, roads and the sort. Anyways it really took off and now he does really well. He employs mostly people that were homeless, trains them, and gives them a chance at a job."
I thought that it was a very inspiring story. A few months later I asked my friend about him, and learned he was dead. "Why? How?" were my immediate questions. "He attempted suicide a couple of times, and one time it worked."
I was taken back. Someone that was so happy, so full of life, and overcame so much. I couldn't believe it.

Sometimes I wonder why we're all here. Why does God not just bag the whole thing and start over. He doesn't have to send anyone to heaven or hell, just have us cease to exist, like animals or something. But then I realize that its not for me to decide. Is the story God's writing really worth all the pain and heartbreak? But He tells me there is a purpose. One day this will all resolve. And how the world should end is not up to me, and I'm glad its not. The only thing I have to decide is to be a part of that story or not. When the sun rises, and I stand on the shores of eternity, I will finally fully understand the answer to the ultimate question.Why?

Thoughts on Love

I was listening to the Sigh No More Mumford and Sons album today and the song Awake My Soul came on. This is by no means the first time I heard this song. Its one of my favorites, and never seems to get old. One of lines of the lyrics always catches me. The line is "The way you invest you love you invest your life." When I first heard this it hit me in a moment of clarity. It seemed so simple. Whatever I choose to love, and whatever I choose to pursue, will be my legacy when I leave this earth. If I choose to love myself, and please myself, that will become what my life revolves around, and is defined by. If I love others, my neighbors and brothers, that is what my life will be invested in. I try to ask myself this question routinely, so I'm not getting off track to where God wants me to invest my life. Am I investing in things that will make a difference? Or am I investing in a Playstation? Am I investing in the God's church? or am investing in movie tickets? I encourage you to chew this question over for yourself, and ask what you want your life to mean.

Most of Humanity Has No Hope

I recently had a conversation with a friend. It was night time and I was driving through town to drop him off at his house. Music was playing softly but we were sitting mostly in silence. “Doesn’t life seem simple to you?” he asked. “What do you mean?” I responded. He said “I have a friend who recently made a bet with a guy from the mob. He bet five thousand dollars on a game and he lost. He now owes the guy ten thousand dollars that he doesn’t have. They’ll kill him or break something if he doesn’t pay. How can you actually get yourself in that situation? Can’t you just not bet?”

 “When something like that happens, I’m usually not surprised” I answered. “Yeah I guess it’s a sickness” He returned. “Life’s a sickness” I said. “Then what’s the escape?”

“Death.”